A lack of confidence

July 3, 2007 at 10:25 am 2 comments

A young man came up to me a couple of days ago at the P@SHA Career Expo in Lahore, said that he lacked confidence in himself and felt that this was what was holding him back in his career. “I am not brilliant like my friends or my brother,” he said. “I am just a ‘normal’ human being who works very hard. I am interested in what I do and I really do try my best.’

I asked him what kind of things did he think he was good at. He thought for a while and then mentioned one thing … then slowly another … and another. I got the feeling that he had never been asked what he was good at – just told off for the things that he wasn’t so good at – by family, friends or teachers.

He seemed frightened of the world and what it held for him. Is this what we as human beings do to each other? Take away the belief that each person should have in his/her own abilities?

I told this young man to focus on the things he was good at, build on his strengths, be successful in those areas … while at the same time working slowly on the areas where he felt he needed improvement. I told him that he had every reason to believe in himself, that he had so much going for him. “It is only when you have confidence in yourself, that others will feel a confidence in you and your ability to deliver on your promise.”

He seemed to contemplate on that, looked me straight in the eye for a few seconds, and then his face brightened as he smiled and said ‘Yes I see what you mean. I will try.’ Was it just my imagination or did he appear to walk with a little more surety? I do hope so.

He was a bright young man who was just frightened and unsure of himself. All he needed was someone to say something positive. Is there such a short supply of kind and encouraging words in our community?

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A change of mindset? Concept of service

2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Vickram Crishna  |  July 4, 2007 at 8:22 am

    “All he needed was someone to say something positive. Is there such a short supply of kind and encouraging words in our community?”

    Don’t be so hard on yourself – lack of appreciation of others is endemic to humanity. So much so that we regard those who show even the slightest touch of it as saints.

    Of course, that doesn’t prevent us from martyring them for darlng to be different.

    Reply
  • 2. mansoor  |  July 18, 2007 at 12:48 pm

    there is!

    i dont know whether its the frustration we have within ourselves or the sense of our own failures, that we tend to disillusion anyone and everyone around us with great zeal!

    i salute your deed jehan, and i pray others follow suit!

    Reply

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