An angel who continues to live in our hearts

April 2, 2012 at 11:56 pm 12 comments

Nine years ago I remember coming apart at the seams on  April 1, 2003 when the one person who represented unconditional love, gentleness, beauty, compassion, joy and understanding in our lives was taken from us; someone who made each one of us feel very special; a person who took great pride in our teeniest achievements – whose life centered completely around us. She derived her happiness from ours; she felt the pain of every heartbreak we felt while we were growing up. She was married very young and more or less grew up with us. She was more than just our mother and our guardian angel. She was our best friend.

Ammi was the glue that held us together. Even through her many years of illness she was patient and never complained. She was always worried how her illness affected us and usufally shrugged off her own pain. The smile she wore almost every day of her life was quick and warm and genuine and encompassed everyone. No matter what anyone said or did to her, she never held it against them. She was forgiveness personified. In fact she usually made excuses for the nasty behaviour of others.

It’s been 9 years since she was taken from us and you would think that we would feel her absence less but nothing is further from the truth. Whenever anything good happens in my life I wish she was there to share in the moment. When someone hurts my feelings, I wish she were there to make me feel better. Her smile and comforting tone were always the cure for anything that ever ailed any of us. She was the special angel who watched over us every moment of our lives.

She was quite ill for over two decades yet she didn’t lose her sense of humour. She cracked jokes all the time to lighten the atmosphere, to make people forget the seriousness of a moment. She liked seeing people happy and couldn’t bear to see anyone in pain. Ammi often spoke about how fortunate we were to have the kind of healthcare we did because of Abbaji’s job and benefits. She often prayed to God asking him never to let illness befall a poor man or woman. She was so sensitive to other peoples pain and their needs. Of course this resulted in a lot of people taking advantage of her good nature and her compassion. But she didn’t seem to mind. She said that if they felt the necessity to lie, they must have been really desperate and we should forgive them.

Ammi, your love lives within us and we feel your presence around us whatever we do. I think you continue to watch over Abbaji and us from the heavens. We miss you so much. It is our love for you that binds us together and nudges us to look after one another. We are who you and Abbaji brought us up to be and I hope you will always be proud of us and of the things we do. We honour your memory each time we do something good, something decent, something loving. Thank you for giving us the best years of your life and for loving us with the depth that you did. We will never forget. You live within our hearts and always will.

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Now I feel guilty! I saved a life today!

12 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Ayesha Ahmad  |  April 3, 2012 at 12:54 am

    so touching

    Reply
  • 2. beenasarwar  |  April 3, 2012 at 1:08 am

    What a beautiful and moving tribute. No wonder you are the way you are. Stay blessed.

    Reply
  • 3. Karachiite  |  April 3, 2012 at 8:45 am

    I think she has passed on to a better place. Great and touching piece.

    Reply
  • 4. Karachiite  |  April 3, 2012 at 8:46 am

    Brilliant tribute, she has passed on many of those traits mentioned to you.

    Reply
  • 5. erumsuchistan  |  April 3, 2012 at 9:54 am

    I must admit u touched my heart. I can relate to what u share about your loving mother since i lost my loving father two years back and miss him in the same way u miss ur mother at every significant and insignificant moment of life… no one can replace parents, they are manifestation of Almighty in this world. May God bless ur mother, my father and all the deceased parents and give healthy life to those alive, ameen

    Reply
  • 6. erumsuchistan  |  April 3, 2012 at 10:18 am

    You touched my heart with this blogpost. I can easily relate how u feel about ur loving mother since I also lost my beloved father two years back and still miss him badly at every significant and insignificant moment. Despite all my efforts i couldn’t write my feelings about him. Jusrt pray that God bless them in heaven and on earth. ameen

    Reply
  • 7. Shaista  |  April 3, 2012 at 10:18 am

    Its a beautiful, heartfelt post Jehan. Im going to share this with my father who is extremely sad for the recent loss of his own mother. I guess parents are one relationship in our lives that give unconditional love, now and forever!

    Reply
    • 8. bawaqarpakistan  |  April 3, 2012 at 1:22 pm

      Thank you Shaista for sharing such a beautiful post for a mother from Jehan. All mothers are alike and give the same feelings of comfort which always keep you balanced against all disturbances around you. Every one want to express about such loss but only few like Jehan has the capabality to deliver such a touching post. God may keep all mothers in best possible place where ever they are in this Grand scheme of universe. God bless you Jehan. Ammar

      Reply
  • 9. mairahassan  |  April 3, 2012 at 12:00 pm

    Touching!

    Mothers are truly God’s biggest blessing on us. They are celestial beings…when they are around us, we feel safe and protected…when they’re not, we keep searching, seeking for that comfort, that sense of security.. life gives us substitutes, but no one can take their place… No one can make us feel how mothers do

    Reply
  • 10. bawaqarpakistan  |  April 3, 2012 at 1:25 pm

    Excellent post Jehan, I could feel it very well as you know I also lost my beautiful mother a month ago. I believe sharing of feelings alway help you to better understand the justifications for such painful events. God bless you and your family. Ammar

    Reply
  • 11. Syeda Umema Hani  |  April 4, 2012 at 10:47 am

    There is no substitute of parents !
    Their absence creates unrecoverable GAPS inside our soul
    I could feel your lonelyness ….

    Reply
  • 12. asma  |  April 4, 2012 at 5:55 pm

    Jehan this is a truly moving post. Been through something similar so knows how it feels. your moms kind heart shines thru the smile in the pic…..huggzzzz

    Reply

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