No-one can ever replace her

April 1, 2020 at 2:13 pm 1 comment

She was truly one of a kind. Seventeen years and the memory of Ammi is still so fresh in our minds and in our hearts. Her infectious smile, her giggles, her ability to find something humourous in almost every situation, her compassion, her love, her tenderness, her capacity to make everything bad suddenly disappear, was uncanny. Ammi was the true epitome of a perfect, caring and loving mother and a fabulous human being.

Ammi blue saree and tigguLike most of the world, today I am “locked down” at home. The current environment, the loneliness, the uncertainty of the situation makes me miss Ammi all the more. Everything in this house reminds me of her. Her pre-longed illness meant that she spent most of her time either in her bedroom or in the lounge. On weekdays she would be on the lookout for me as I walked into the house after work. A broad bright smile would welcome me and she would ask me how my day had been. I would lie down on her bed and tell her everything – good, bad or ugly. She was such a great listener – and totally non-judgmental. Sometimes she would present a perspective that shifted my thinking about something that was stressing me out or making me sad. I don’t know how she did it – it was magical.

On weekends we would wake up and I would go into the kitchen to prepare a special Sunday breakfast for her and Abbaji. She would join me in the kitchen, sit on a chair and chat with me as i cooked. It was our special time.

As I woke up this morning and spoke to some of my siblings, thoughts of Ammi and all the special memories came flooding in. It made me laugh and cry at the same time. I wished she hadn’t left us so soon. All of us needed her so much and we still do.

Today I am wondering how she would have coped with the current scenario. Sensitive as she was, she would have felt the pain of the people who were suffering from the Corona virus, she would have felt with intensity the struggles of the daily wage workers, the healthcare workers, of those who were losing their jobs. She would have wanted to do whatever she could to help ease their pain and discomfort. That was who she was – always thinking of others, never of herself.

At home she would have been a blessing for me. She would have loved having me here all to herself. We would have found ways for us to do things together during non-work hours – watching movies, cooking together or just hanging out conversing on all sorts of subjects or just going into a fit of laughter for no rhyme or reason.

jasmine for ammiI picked up these flowers this morning from our garden. She loved their smell, the freshness. Abbaji would pluck them for her every morning when he went for a walk. She would take them from him and smile. That precious smile – Just thinking about it brings a feeling of peace and warmth to my heart.

Ammi, we know you are in a better place and watching over us from above. Just know that you were very special to all of us and we will always love you.

 

Entry filed under: Posts.

The world is suddenly on its head

1 Comment Add your own

  • 1. Taiyyeba  |  April 2, 2020 at 2:32 pm

    Such a touching story brought tears to my eyes
    You were very lucky to have such a loving mother

    Reply

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